Keep swimming

I'm drowning.

Seriously.

I feel as though I'm drowning and there is no lifeguard on duty, no life preserver in sight.

About two months ago, I made the conscious decision to return to anti-depressants.  I've been off them for over a year and it is just getting to be too much for me to handle without help.  However, I do not have health insurance, I do not work and my husband and I are on a tight budget.  So I turned to my parents for help and they were glad to do so.  That was a huge relief.

Once the monetary help arrived, I needed to psych myself up to actually make an appointment with the doctor.  That took approximately ten days.  The wait, for my scheduled appointment, was three weeks.  I've been just trying to keep afloat ever since.

I'm not saying my depression has gotten worse since the appointment was made, or since I reached out to my parents for help.  But I did let down some of my guards knowing that I was gong to be able to get some help.

Now I don't remember how to build them back up.

My appointment is one week from today.

I can make it.

I have to make it.