In this post, I talked about how I was feeling a great deal of apprehension for an up-coming party. I am so happy to report that most everything went incredibly well. I say "most" because friend one forgot about it and friend two texted to say she wouldn't make it but I never got the text. Because of the miscommunication with friend number two, I was feeling very hurt and somewhat angry. We chatted a bit today and all is fine. With friend number one, well, shit happens and he actually thought it had been rescheduled and had made other plans.
Those were the only two problems with the night. At least that is my opinion.
I did end up taking two Ativan. One first thing in the morning and the other about an hour before the party was to begin. I'd purposely saved my third in case I had problems during the party. I didn't need it. I'm extremely proud of that.
There were no upset or frustrated tears. I didn't snap at my husband for something that he didn't do to my liking. I didn't get overwhelmed or panic. There were some minor moments that I was feeling a little apprehension but just took a few deep breaths and let it pass. These moments were silly and totally inconsequential and I was able to recognize that instead of letting it become a major issue for me. That is a HUGE step for me and one that I hope I can continue.
So, was this night a success because of the Zoloft? Because of the Ativan? Because I was experiencing a placebo effect from just knowing I was taking meds? Was it something completely different? Maybe the night just had so few snags that it didn't matter one way or the other. I'm not sure but I do know that I'm very happy with how the evening went, how I felt during it, and the fact that I'm slowly getting my life back. Yay me!
No comments:
Post a Comment