First weekend with the munchkins

For the record, neither Z nor K could really be considered a munchkin anymore but still, they are.  Z is 16 and K is 13.  They are my step kids but I love them as my own.

In a way, the kids have also been suffering with me through the ups and downs of my depression battle.  The person they first met has changed a lot, some for the good and some for the bad, in the past, well, almost 10 years.  They've experienced all of the moods and issues and this past year has probably been one of the worst for them.  It's not so much that I was depressed but it was that I was moody as hell and had virtually no patience for anything.  With the kids been teens, they were having their own issues that further made me just a wee annoyed.

To be fair, I never took my frustrations out on either of them directly, but my moodiness and impatience affected them in many ways.  I have been rather withdrawn from our life as a family of four...hell, I've been pretty removed from most of my relationships with the exception of a few very close friends and my husband.  My parents, siblings and other extended family have also felt the neglect from me but since the kids are a bigger part of my life, they probably noticed it a great deal more.  Neither has really said anything to me, or to my husband as far as I know, but that doesn't mean they haven't noticed or made a comment to someone else. 

(I'm sure I will blog about my relationship with each of them at a later date and it really isn't overly necessary at this point.)

Anyway, this was the first weekend we've had them since I've been back on my meds.  Granted, I'd only been on them for twelve days once they got here but still, I was medicated.  I think it went well.  I was more actively involved with family times and didn't totally hide out in the bedroom.  I was in the bedroom a great deal but made several trips out to the more common areas of our home to talk with the kids.  They also spent some time with me in the bedroom when we were chatting and watching a football game.  I also didn't lose my temper about anything.  We had a couple of issues but I was able to deal with them without blowing up to my husband in private or bursting into tears, also in private.

I really feel like I'm moving forward towards a much healthier me.  I just keep going forward and doing everything I can to keep a positive and optimistic attitude.