Describing my depression

When I was first diagnosed with depression, the disease was very unfamiliar to me.  I knew what it was like to be sad and have an episode of depression but had no clue that having depression was so different.  Over the past thirteen years, I've done a great deal of research on depression and other forms of mental illness, especially those that I've been diagnosed with or have come up as possibilities for me.

And still, I do not know how to accurately describe it and how it feels to me.

This is in part to the fact that every day is different.  There are recurring themes but I don't know what combo I will deal with at any given moment.  It is a very personal thing but also one that I want to share with those I'm closest to so that they may understand me a bit better.

Every so often, I find a picture or a quote that really describes it well.  Here's one:

Scary stuff, huh?  Of course, if you have never read the "Harry Potter" books or seen any of the "Harry Potter" movies, this will mean nothing to you.  But if you have, then you probably shuddered when you read it. 

Long ago, I remember hearing about encouraging children who have cancer to picture the cancer as monsters.  This gave the kids a visual image of the disease and would help them to focus on using thought and imagery to maintain a good mindset during the radiation, chemotherapy and other treatments.  It also made it easier for them to understand what they were fighting against and what they hoped to defeat.

A dementor is a good representation of my depression.  It is big, scary and completely unpredictable.  It can literally suck the life right out of me, leaving me a shell of who I used to be.  It strikes fear in me, as well as those around me who see what it is doing to me.  They can be defeated, if you know how and if you are dedicated to fighting.