"Just give it a try."
"It doesn't hurt to try."
"What have you got to lose?"
We say the above statements all the time. They are meant to prod and encourage. It's a motivator in a sense. It is said to remind others that trying is acceptable and that it's okay if you don't succeed or win or finish or whatever. And that's true and a good attitude to possess.
But...
What if trying does more harm than good? What if you put yourself out there and the result is best labeled as an epic failure? Should you still try it?
It's a contradiction. I'd tell my step kids and my husband and my friends to give it a shot. For many things in my own life, I would be hearing the inner dialogue prompt me to try. After all nothing ventured is nothing gained. Right?
However if venturing not only doesn't gain anything but also sets you back or renders you helpless or defeats your will and soul and introduces paralyzing anxiety back into your life and turns you into a zombie-like shell where even your husband cannot find a flicker of light in your eyes, much less the woman he fell in love with and destroys every bit of sanity you possess and flings you so far down into a pit of despair and depression that you cannot even see the light at the opening of the pit much less return to it...
*gulp of air*
...should you still try?
For me, it comes down to fear. Plain and simple. I know "what ifs" aren't worth fretting over. I do know that. I'm keenly aware of that. I preach it to others and to myself. But still, I fret.
So much to lose and so much to gain. Does the want of what could possibly be gained trump the terror of what could possibly be lost? Is one "worth" more than the other? How to you place value on a potentially better life? And how do you decide if said value is greater than the value of sanity and positive mental health?
Do I try?
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