Craptastic

I'm having a bad night. There is a lot of drama and miscommunication going on.

One friend is experiencing inner turmoil and is questioning a great deal. It's very uncharacteristic of her and I don't know how to assist her through the situation or even if she wants any help. Some harsh statements were made and I feel as though our relationship may have taken one of those turns where nothing you do or say gets you back to where your friendship once stood. The dynamics are forever changed. Only time will tell.

On a different front, one of my online Pagan groups seems to have shattered. It's an utter mess of confusing accusations and misunderstandings. Slowly it seems people in the group are taking sides. Another group has been started and some are defecting to it. Some members are in both groups. All the hurt going on is nearly unbearable.

Those two events combined with the gremlins in my own head have me teetering on the edge. I know I need to take care of myself first and foremost but it is especially difficult when people I care about are struggling. I'm a fixer and a people-pleaser to the core. I focus on other people and their issues. I listen and I help. It's who I am. Even when it is detrimental to my own well-being.

I might just need to step away from these two issues. The one with the online group is rather easy to accomplish. People will understand or they won't. Those that I'm close to within the groups will stick by me. The other concern is not something I can distance myself from because it deals with a person I interact with in my personal life and my Pagan life. She is one of my dearest friends. I will just tread carefully with her and see what comes next.