Anxiety - how to keep it at bay

Great post from Zen Mama.

“This, too, shall pass.”

“I vow to let go of all worries and anxiety in order to be light and free.”
~Thich Nhat Hanh

Anxiety. We all have it. Some more than others. Usually, I’m able to keep anxiety at bay. It’s a horrible feeling, more than just butterflies in your stomach; more like a rock in your stomach. Fear and anxiety can keep us from action. Immobilize you. You want to hide away. It’s hard to feel relaxed. Anxiety wakes me up at night.

It was anxiety that first started Zen Mama. Mainly, the fear that my son wouldn’t graduate from high school and go on to college inspired me to become a Zen Mama and write about it in my first book, How To Be A Zen Mama. My worry hurt our relationship. I taught myself that if I could let go of worry, I could actually be closer to my kids.

And now, this week that same son found out he is graduating from college on time. He’s passed two Clep tests, the last hurdle he needed to graduate next month on time.

But don’t think that I never feel worry any more. I’ve just gotten better at handling the worry. In fact, anxiety reared it’s ugly head these last two weeks. I was unprepared for it and it sucked me in, keeping me up at night. It was waiting for the results of our oldest’s tests but also our recent home sale. We put our house up for sale and it sold in 2 days. Which is really great! But waiting for the deadlines to pass was nerve racking. And then the unknown… where will we be living in a month?

I remember my first anxious parenting moment before our oldest was even born. Our first ultra sound didn’t show a cerebellum in the baby. They would check again at the next appointment the following week. That was such a tough week waiting! I kept telling myself that if the doctors were really concerned they’d have me in the next day. (And of course he does have a cerebellum!) While raising kids there were always things to be anxious about. Looking back, most of those worries didn’t really matter.

It’s human nature to cling to the fear. So, I have to pull out my little bag of tricks to help keep that anxiety at bay. What’s in my bag of tricks?

1. I’ve learned you can’t make fear go away completely. You have to face your anxiety with calm. Deep breaths help.

2. I ask myself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen if this come to pass?” And I remind myself that 9 times out of 10 what I fear never comes to pass. And if that one thing does come to pass, then move forward with courage.

3. Once I acknowledge the fear, I can begin to let go of expectations.

4. I say this quote to myself, “if you can solve your problem what’s the use of worrying? If you can’t solve your problem then what’s the use of worrying?”

5. I try to think positively rather than negatively.

6. I exercise, take a walk, be in nature. Time stands still in nature. And I remind myself that nature takes what’s given and still remains beautiful.

7. I remind myself that things seem worse at night. Often I feel better in the morning, even when I have trouble sleeping at night.

8. Try manifesting the positive through I AM statements. Saying I AM is a powerful affirmation that makes things happen!

9. Lastly I have a good friend to remind me of all these things! I’m very lucky to have the Zen Papa!

Anxiety is not something that will ever go away. But our reaction can change the way we feel it. And that’s what being a Zen Mama or Papa is all about, changing our reaction to life’s worries and negative situations. Every moment is a chance to let go and feel relief.

“Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff.”
~ Robert Eliot