Support group

It has been a few years since I have been to the local mental health support group.  I did enjoy going and stopped because I just didn't want to go anymore.  I'd gone faithfully for a number of months and then stopped.  Several months later, I returned only to never return again.  But I'm thinking about going back.

The support group is organized through NAMI.  There is a group leader who keeps us on track and reminds us of the goals of a NAMI peer support group.  We mostly go around in a circle and tell about how we have been doing.  For the regulars, this means talking about how things have been going for the past week since the last group meeting.  When you are new, you share your story which generally includes your diagnosis and what has been going on since you first found out you had some form of mental illness.  If you have been gone for a while, you recap and hit on your diagnosis and just give a general update on what has been going on since you were last active within the group.

My first visit was full of tears.  Lots of crying.  Luckily for me, it was a small group that week.  The people in the support group were all very different, will a variety of mental illnesses.  Our stories were different yet the same.  We were all struggling with making our lives the best possible.  Each of us wanted to find that delicate balance that would allow us to be ourselves and not our mental illness diagnosis. 

But the time has come for me to give it a chance again.  I need that support and reminder that I'm not alone in my battle.  I need to talk to virtual strangers about my thoughts and feelings.  Talking to people I don't know allows me to be more open and honest because I don't feel like I need to censor myself or word issues in a manner that won't hurt the listener.  Plus, these are the people that understand because they have been there.  They don't judge because they do not want to be judged. 

I will go back Monday. 

I'm slightly nervous but not as much as I was at that first meeting.  It's a good nervous, at least that is what I think.  Hopefully my experience will be just as helpful as it was in the past.