Validation

I feel like I'm going to start to annoy people with asking "Do you think I'm better?" because I really want to know what other people think.  Deep down, I know it only truly matters what I feel but there are so many people in my life that have been affected by my depression and anxiety that I want to know if they are seeing an improvement.  Maybe I need to put it out there to those I'm closest with that I want them to tell me if they have noticed any changes or improvements and to let me know if they see any in the future.

In other news, I'm laughing.  That seems like such a silly and random statement but there have been very few moments of true, deep laughter in the past year.  I'm not saying that I never laughed, but it was rare and something really had to strike me as utterly hilarious.  Now I find myself laughing at typical things like lines in a comedy show, my dogs in their cute matching doggie pajamas, my husband being a goofball. 

Oh, and the smiles...they are real and genuine.  I'm not putting on those fake-ass masks and pretending that I'm happy just so people will leave me alone.  I am truly feeling good.  And when I'm less than happy, I don't fake it for the sake of others.  I'm being the real me and letting my emotions show, even if they are the scary ones.

I'm also putting myself out there some by initiating social activities instead of sitting back and waiting for an invitation.  I'm feeling a bit more comfortable and confident with myself again.  I'm excited about getting out and doing things.  I'm not going crazy and scheduling multiple engagements a day, but I'm going out at least twice a week. 

I've missed this. 

I've missed me.