Saturday, February 15, 2014

Needing a hug

Darling Shanda,

A little birdie told me that today, what you needed most was a big, quiet bear hug.

So I am here, like a warm, nurturing Earth Mother, with expansive arms and a soft bosom, pulling you inwards until our hearts beat side by side.

((((((((((((((Shanda)))))))))))))))
Did you feel that?

Your Inner Pilot Light

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Okay

I haven't posted anything personal since October.  It's because, right now, I'm managing.

I still have some bad days but they are far less than they have been in the past year or so. 

I still have panic attacks but they are more easily alleviated and have greatly decreased.

I still am moody and get crabby but I'm recognizing it, and correcting it, much quicker.

I mentioned in September after I last saw my doctor, I'm to the point medication-wise, that if my current medications don't do it for me, we have to start over with trying new medications.  Been there, done that, hated it with every fiber of my being.  I really do NOT want to go through that process again so I have been trying to see if, at this stage, on these meds, I can have a quality life.

And I do.  It's not quite the quality that I want it to be but it is certainly better than it has been.  I need to have conversations with some of my trusted allies to get some input on how they think I've been doing.  I need to really dig deep and decide what the next step will be - will I continue on my current meds and this okay life? will I jump the train to the unknown and try one or more different meds?  I honestly don't know.

I'm on hold with my doctor right now and will be making an appointment for sometime in March.  I have a great deal to think about and analyze in the meantime.  Until something changes, or until after my doctor appointment, I probably will just post fluff about depression and other forms of mental illness.  But I am still here.  And I'm doing okay.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Seek peace, sweet girl

Brave Girls Club

Dear Gorgeous Girl,

Peace is good. Peace is so so good. It is worth it to travel whatever lengths you need to go to feel peace. Often, peace is right in front of our face if we will just silence everything else. Then sometimes we have to make really tough choices or go to great lengths to feel at peace. Whatever it takes, it is worth it. Always go where the peace is, especially the peace in your heart.

Peace is defined as in the dictionary as: freedom of the mind from annoyance, distraction, anxiety, an obsession, etc.; tranquility; serenity. But peace is also defined as the normal, non-warring condition of a nation, group of nations, or the world (or ourselves). Another definition of peace is silence; stillness.

When making tough decisions, you will never regret making the decision that brings the most peace to your heart. Sometimes it doesn't bring the most peace to your LIFE in the short term, but if it is what brings the most peace to your HEART, that's the place to go. Always go where the peace is.

Seek peace, sweet girl.

You are loved.
xoxo